So as every sensible mother does on a Saturday morning after the first week back at school, I put on the TV for the children first thing. Secondly, I google yoga for crazy busy mothers. So I find this lovely American lady who,  blissfully unaware, is going to transform me from soft looking farmer’s wife to healthy, toned farmer’s wife all the while redefining your stereotypical idea of what a country dairy farmer’s wife looks like(of olde, of olde). This yoga lady, well she has her work cut out, it’s my third baby and I have survived on dairy products and crepes for the summer.

So, while the minors are watching a movie, I get the laughing Buddha out, the candle is lighting and the mat is rolled out. As I come into the first mountain pose, I think this is more like it, heart over sternum over pelvis (wherever it is now). But now I have a companion, Brosnan no.2 has decided to join me. Avalanche into the Cat/Cow with a little kitten joining me under the tummy while kitten number three is starting to make purring noises from the cradle. Hurry it up lady. Can you have a biscuit? Pause. Now Buddha’s laughing.

I knew it was coming. The cat/cow then turns into horsey horsey. I carry the toddler on my back and think this will definatly burn more calories. And inevitably, the cat becomes a dog and my dogged toddler tries to stick with it buckaroo style. Mind your back ladies she says. Buddha’s in hysterics. Oh look at the movie. Pause. Another biscuit, this time for me. Thank goodness, a standing position. Kitten is now wailing. And now for the lotus position and she asks me to ask for something and to be thankful. Would he ever come in from milking and thank inconsolable Buddha that’s over. Nameste yourself.